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May 3rd, 2024: Check out my garden

Happy Friday! I have recently gotten my garden webpage to look good enough to

link it here on my main page. Now to... make my main page a bit more interesting.

I was also thinking of reading up on some Dada and Intermedia to better articulate

a concept of mine that I want to investigate more: anticontent. It's like,

the idea of returning to artmaking without the demand of marketability, palitablity,

and how much money it can make. It's not a new concept, really, just a more focused

approach on going against what I believe artists have had to deal with for awhile

now. But, of course, there's the voice in my head that's like, "Don't share it until

it's ready, otherwise someone will take off with your idea and make off with that

success!" As if it really is that "special" of an idea. Honestly, that thought just

underscores how nasty it is these days to create, and my fear of that.

But anyways. The Garden page is looking the best, I think, out of all my pages so

far, and I'm excited to post updates. I'm trying to really dig into all my projects

because ultimately they keep me sane. I remarked to my friends recently, "It's get-

ting 1970's out there," because it really is, is it not? Maybe 1960's is more apt?

So of course the ongoing genocide and the assult on our civil rights is getting me

feeling less than great, so today I turned on some music via Tidal and was happy to

see the Max Quality option was now available (they added it to my subscription, woo!)

The music really helped. When does it not? So here, above, is my meme about it, for

the entirely niche audience of those who listen to Yeasayer on Tidal.

April 17th, 2024: I Have Added a Painting to This Website!

I'm proud to say that you can now view "What's on the easel" right now

by clicking on the "Easel" link above! It took me all day to figure out

how to line up the painting and the easel -- basically I want to be able

to interchange what's on the easel easel-y (easily, haha) and how I have

it set up now should do the trick.

I think the next task for this website will be making a nice background,

maybe a banner or something. But given my mental state right now I will

need to ensure I'm focusing on art first and foremost. Well, I guess this

website is art, too, (everything is art) but I need to synthesize my emo-

tions and painting or drawing will be a good way to do so.

My partner and I are talking a lot about how we can bring fulfillment to

our lives. Recently I've been coming to terms with the fact I haven't

taken advantage of spending time with the friends I have in my city, and

now as some move away I feel regret. But I did live with some of them for

2 years, it's not like I didn't spend time with them. Rather, I think

my mind is looking backwards, panicking that I haven't made the most of

what I have/had, worried I will not have anything at all in the coming

years. A lot of my friends are scattered across the country, many in

LA. Normally I'm one to jump into something or somewhere new, but now

financial cost is a concern, as well as living close to my Dad.

Anyways, I'm trying to commit to what means a lot to me. What moves me.

Trying to plants seeds for tomorrow, you know, stuff like that.

April 8th, 2024: Eclipse Day!

I'm sitting in my hotel room after eating some really good Indian food.

I didn't have the day off work, but I managed to still see the eclipse in totality

by working remotely at a cowork space in a city within the totality.

It was unreal. I didn't expect the aura to be silvery against a sky that was

still somewhat blue. I was constantly worried I was burning my retina even though

I was following the proper instructions to not burn one's retina...

Despite my anxiety, I was taken by the totality's beauty. It was worth all the driving.

I think I want to paint how it felt, how it appeared — so many pictures are the sun

burning as a halo against a black sky. It was so much more elegant than that.

The city sounds I had been tuning out all day grew silent, save for someone's

literal scream of joy in the distance.

I want to be a spiritual person. I was raised Catholic, and my mother was someone

with such a healthy faith, balanced with a fascination of angels, tarot, and the unkown.

I'd like to reconnect with her in a profound way. I feel like I can only look forward

to that upon death, but I suppose today was proof I still could be awestruck.

The sun was feathered, reaching past the moon, the air was chilled...

Today's update was the link to the old posts. Not too fancy.

March 31st, 2024: Hey there, this site has just begun! I'm an artist who has not been making enough art,

so this website is to hopefully commit to that more. Recently I've been hesitant to share my work in fear

of AI eating it or my designs being found on a Hot Topic shirt. We'll see how I overcome that fear, but

in the meantime maybe I can post some stuff here while I possibly (?) submit to art galleries as well.

Like most people with emathy these days, I'm a little depressed with the state of the world. That makes

it tough to get anything done, let alone your passions or interests.

This is hopefully a testament to fighting that despair. The world's not over yet!